I have been to the towers of borobadour…climbed Mt. Fuji… walked the beaches of the Indian, Pacific and Atlantic oceans…. I’ve expereinced big cities, boondocks and tiny villages… I’ve been in the White House and seen the wealth of nations and I’ve been to the poverty stricken streets of a third world country and seen the pain of nations… I’ve seen the jagged peaks if the Rockies and the rolling hills of the Smokies…. I’ve seen a rainbows full circle from the air and glowing minerals of beauty in the caverns of deep caves… I’ve seen flowers beyond description on the edges of the tropics and blue butterfly wings fill a tree.
I do not say all this to brag… but to share… in all this, I have experienced something far more precious, something far greater then anything this world could ever offer.
Nothing…. in this world is more beautiful then walking in the blessing of fulfilling the vows I made to my beloved husband. To be there in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer until death parted us. Walking through the shadow lands holding his hand as he took Jesus hand and was victorious over cancer was painfully beautiful. Nothing will ever compare to that moment when he whispered how much he knew Jesus loved him or the moment he and I danced our last dance… and nothing I ever do in this life, will be as wonderful as the blessings I’ve received and the gifts I have been given in this shadowed valley of death.
I do not like to be here… called a widow, a single mom or half a person, it’s hard and painful, but I am blessed to know I do not walk it alone.
I’ve learned to lean, to be assertive, to know my Savior as my husband who cares for the widow and the fatherless. I have learned, and am still learning, not one thing I possess will ever compare to the relationships and the power of words. God’s love has been greater in my adversity and shown stronger in my weaknesses.
There will always be a hole in my heart… but God promises to be near to my broken heart and to help me carry my burden. My feet haven’t touched the ground in quite some time now.