I heard this somewhere and it wouldn’t leave my head…. “My kingdom fell.” I wondered at it for a few moments and then God began to reveal the meaning.
All I’d built up in my heart as normal, all I thought should be and every thing I’d acquired to my heart and materially… this was my kingdom. The steed was always white and always bore a brave Knight, whose armor shone brightly. In my kingdom, I was never less than or scarred. It was hardly any effort for me to accomplish anything. I was never sad or disappointed. This kingdom was a sanctuary, running in perfect order. I was never late, forgetful, in pain or broken.
This kingdom… my kingdom… it is a fairy tale. I run to it when the reality is crushing my heart and I do not want to look at it. I am often found sitting with my eyes closed, dreaming of the sun on my cheek, the wind in my hair and the beauty of perfection. I dream of no tears, no pain and no death or dying.
Awww… but, alas, that knight fell off his stead a time or two. The storm is tearing at my hair. Only rain falls on my cheeks. And I have experienced the death of my beloved one. Reality.
My kingdom is falling. I am not strong enough or brave enough to hold it all together. It is impossible. It now lays in ruins all around me. And in the rubble of crushed dreams, I am reduced to a lonely widow. I wonder where I can stand and where I fit and who I am.
When my beloved one walked into Jesus arms, that cool November morning, my kingdom fell hard and my heart shattered. These questions haunted me… who was I now? And then the answer came, in the mighty rush of Angel wings. A soft sweet song, someone is singing over me. Thunder roars around me and I look to see a glimpse of heaven. God’s kingdom, somehow the rubble of mine disappears. The hope of glory, shimmers in my heart. Life blood is pumped from a once dead heart… I see a kingdom lost, has become a glorious Kingdom gained. It is a sanctuary… that resides in my heart. I still experience pain and tears, but they are never wasted.