My Kingdom Fell

I heard this somewhere and it wouldn’t leave my head…. “My kingdom fell.”  I wondered at it for a few moments and then God began to reveal the meaning.

All I’d built up in my heart as normal, all I thought should be and every thing I’d acquired to my heart and materially… this was my kingdom.  The steed was always white and always bore a brave Knight, whose armor shone brightly.  In my kingdom, I was never less than or scarred. It was hardly any effort for me to accomplish anything. I was never sad or disappointed.  This kingdom was a sanctuary, running in perfect order.  I was never late, forgetful, in pain or broken.

This kingdom… my kingdom… it is a fairy tale. I run to it when the reality is crushing my heart and I do not want to look at it.  I am often found sitting with my eyes closed, dreaming of the sun on my cheek, the wind in my hair and the beauty of perfection. I dream of no tears, no pain and no death or dying.

Awww… but, alas, that knight fell off his stead a time or two.  The storm is tearing at my hair.  Only rain falls on my cheeks.  And I have experienced the death of my beloved one.  Reality.

My kingdom is falling. I am not strong enough or brave enough to hold it all together.  It is impossible. It now lays in ruins all around me.  And in the rubble of crushed dreams, I am reduced to a lonely widow. I wonder where I can stand and where I fit and who I am.

When my beloved one walked into Jesus arms, that cool November morning, my kingdom fell hard and my heart shattered. These questions haunted me… who was I now?  And then the answer came, in the mighty rush of Angel wings. A soft sweet song, someone is singing over me.  Thunder roars around me and I look to see a glimpse of heaven.  God’s kingdom, somehow the rubble of mine disappears.  The hope of glory, shimmers in my heart.  Life blood is pumped from a once dead heart… I see a kingdom lost, has become a glorious Kingdom gained.  It is a sanctuary… that resides in my heart.  I still experience pain and tears, but they are never wasted.

7 thoughts on “My Kingdom Fell

  1. Thank you for sharing these beautiful words from your heart! They remind me of the old Gaither song, from the ’70’s, “Something Beautiful,” with these words: “then my dreams turned to ashes, my castles all crumbled, my fortunes turned to loss. So I wrapped it all up in the rags of my life, and placed it at the cross. And HE made something beautiful of my life.” Truly, I see how the Lord is bringing beauty out of your ashes, as you share the ways that He is loving you! What a sweet reminder that touched me today!–Blessings to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw… Bettie, this message popped up at the perfect time. God used your kind words to encourage me deeply today. Thank you for that. God has been faithful. His Love is wider, deeper, longer and higher then I could imagine. You are a blessing.


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