Psalms the Comfort of My Heart
Psalm 138:3, 6, 8 ESV
On the day I called, you answered me; my strength of soul you increased.  For though the LORD is high, he regards the lowly… The LORD will fulfill his purpose in me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.
Psalm 139:1-6 ESV
O LORD, you have searched me and known me!  You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.  You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.  Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.  You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.
Psalm 143:8 ESV
Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
Psalm 145:8-9, 13-14, 17-18 ESV
The LORD is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.  The LORD is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.  …The LORD is faithful in all his words and kind in all his works.  The LORD upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down.  The LORD is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works.  The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.
Psalm 147:3 ESV
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
I can attest to the truth of all these… no… I didn’t get just what I asked for… but He did answer. In time, I pray, we will see the reason for the answer being “no.” And… even if I do not ever understand His answer I will trust. I can say that each time, in my weakness, I prayed for strength, He answered. Even when the weakness remained physically, my soul found strength. God sent the strength in many forms, not the least of which was the fellowship of friendship and family. God did see the brokenness and still sees it. I believe He is near me each day. Though He is a mighty God full of power. He is taking the time to know my every tear and pain intimately. After all, He made me. He promises to never forsake me. And… He never left Chris either… He was there in and through it all. Agonizing, weeping, loving, holding, encouraging and pouring out His amazing and unexplainable strength on Chris all through his life. He knew every hair on Chris’ head, every word before he spoke it, everything. And He knows that of us all. He loves beyond understanding. As much as I loved Chris, He loves him more.
I know somewhere deep down in my soul, that this journey will be very long. But He promises in Psalm 146:9. “The LORD watches over the sojourners; he upholds the widow and the fatherless….” God will show me daily, where to go from here. I am thankful, fearful and hopeful. All wrapped up in one strong, yet broken emotion.
God directed me to the Psalms. The author wrote from sheer agony and a very fearful heart. Yet, as he writes he works out his faith in God. He finds resolve and joy, even in the midst of horrible circumstances. He sojourns into the unknown places, of both his heart and daily living. This author was broken, put back together, blessed for faithfulness, corrected in foolishness, he was lost and found and at the end knew what true treasures were. If the word of God holds the ups and downs of this man’s life, there must be a reason. Perhaps it is to know that there is treasure still to be found in this dark desert valley, or maybe it is to unearth that light that seems covered in the soil of painful loss so that it will not be buried or maybe it is for the encouragement of us all in all our journeys. Whatever God’s reason, please know there is great comfort in the Psalms for our hearts.
Written a month after Chris passed.
I have always found great comfort in the Psalms. David, their author, cries out and pleads for mercy as he looks for strength.
I have encountered the miry part of this journey again. Slogging through it, waist-high, doesn’t leave much energy for anything, but the focus on how I am going to take each step. Always making sure that I have ahold of my precious savior’s hand.