Raw

Deeper love then I realized

A vast crevice opened up today

In weakness, by it, I was seized

And I do not know what to pray.

Gripped in the clutches of pain

A weight upon my chest

I wonder what there is to gain

Even if I am doing my best.

The cavern seems to be more

Then it seems on the outside

Somewhere there must be a core

Sadly, it continues to divide.

Outwardly, a person, a shell

Drained of purpose

As the darkness fell

Am I just dross?

How can my heart beat still

When half of it is gone

And the rest is in heaven’s thrill

Where it belongs.

Grey is the sky today

Black is the storm, as it strains

Where peace is lost in the battle’s fray

As a small white dove drenched in rain.

Once hope was a friend

Visiting each day and night

And on grace I could depend

But now catching a glimpse of them is a fight

I fall upon my face

Unrest swirling all around

Ahead I am reaching for a silhouette of grace

There’s a small glimpse of it as I hit the ground.

“God, can I be done?

This is too hard

I can no longer run

Or the rest of my heart rationally guard.”

“Oh, Abba Father, where are you

Do you care about my grief

And what about the tears that ensue,

What of those, are they relief?”

Empty is my hand

Stolen is the warm embrace

I cannot stand

I am seeking your face.

I need you Lord

Wisdom is just a haze

Speak to me, just a word

And stand beside me all my days.

Protect me from lies

Provide for what I need

Please embrace.when my heart cries

And help me plant a seed.